Dear Family and Friends:
Enclosed below are links to two wonderful videos:
The first is a slide show that played before Mom’s service. Barb Harlan, David H., and Kiza did the lion’s share of work. The photos move more slowly in this version.
The second is the video of Mom’s Celebration of Life service that our son-in-law Sam shot and edited. It also contains part of the slide show.
Marcia and Family
Dear Family and Friends,
Below is a request for your stories, information about Mom’s service, and a copy of her obituary.
Thank you, Marcia and Family
REQUEST
We would love to hear your stories about our mom and grandma! Please send us a story, remembrance, or anecdote to be included in a binder for her memorial service. Please send those to us at: mhohler@comcast.net, or Marcia Hohler, 3147 NW Norwood Dr., Corvallis, OR 97330.
If you would like to receive a copy of the stories after the service, please let us know and include your email or mailing address with your story. Thank you!
MOM’S CELEBRATION OF LIFE SERVICE
Mom’s memorial service will be held on Saturday, May 4, at 11 a.m., at the First Presbyterian Church in Lakeview, Oregon.
MOM’S OBITUARY
Virginia Claire Stratton, 88, died on Thursday, March 14, following a year-long illness. A celebration of her life will be held on Saturday, May 4 at 11 a.m., in the First Presbyterian Church in Lakeview with Rev. Dan St. Clair presiding. The service will be followed by the sharing of stories and a potluck luncheon.
Virginia was born on November 14, 1930, in Lakeview, Oregon, to Homer and Grace (Vernon) Myers. She graduated as valedictorian from Lakeview High School in 1949. With the help of the Daly Fund, she went on to receive a bachelor’s degree in Business Education from Oregon State College (now Oregon State University) in 1953. While teaching in Klamath County, she met and fell in love with Norman Stratton, whom she married in Lakeview in 1955. The couple moved to Portland so Norman could attend college, but by 1962 they had moved back to Lakeview, where they were both schoolteachers. Virginia taught typing, shorthand, accounting, business law, and eventually computers. She was an excellent teacher, and took personal interest and great satisfaction in helping students succeed. Up to her death, she kept in touch with many former students, and loved to hear from them with updates on their lives.
In 1993, after more than 30 years of teaching, Virginia retired. Over the years she volunteered with the Lake County Library, Soroptimists, Lakeview Women’s Educators, AAUW, the Lake County Fair Board, and the Lake County Food Share, among other groups. She spent two winters in Kauai with Norman and long-time friends while they helped Habitat for Humanity rebuild after Hurricane Iniki. She was also a long-standing member of the First Presbyterian Church of Lakeview where she served in many capacities. Virginia’s faith was very important to her and she lived it by caring for others. She took particular pleasure in visiting people around town. She delivered friendship, good conversation, and lots of cookies.
Virginia loved to spend time with her children, grandchildren, and friends, and delighted in catching up over a shared meal. She was an avid player of board and card games, especially pinochle. She decorated her house for every holiday, and relished reading a good book. Ultimately, she enjoyed the simple things in life: fresh flowers in the spring, a hot cup of coffee and a treat from one of her favorite bakeries, a letter from a friend. Virginia will be remembered as “the cookie lady,” an outstanding teacher, a loving mother and grandmother, a loyal friend, a dedicated community member and supporter, and above all else a smart, funny, compassionate, and determined woman.
Survivors include her brother and sister-in-law, Doug and Carmen Myers of St. Clair Shores, MI; daughters and sons-in-law, Marcia and David Hohler of Corvallis, and Kiza and Richard Hilton of Santa Clarita, CA; son, David Stratton of Anaconda, MT; granddaughter, Torrence Stratton of Portland; granddaughter and grandson-in-law, Rachel and Sam Weissman-Hohler of Forest Grove; granddaughter Stephanie Stratton of Scottsdale, AZ; and grandson, Jacob Stratton of Anaconda, MT. She was preceded in death by her husband, Norman Stratton; a brother, Milton Myers; and a grandson, Zachary Hohler.
Friends who wish to contribute in her memory may do so to: Lake County Library Endowment Fund, PO Box 44, Lakeview, OR 97630, Lake County Food Bank, P.O. Box 1303, Lakeview, OR 97630, or a charity of the donor’s choice.
Dear Family and Friends,
It is with heavy hearts that we write to tell you that our beloved Mom and Gramma Ginia died last Thursday night. She had another stroke and died a few minutes later.
Mom was fiercely tenacious in her battle to overcome the health problems and difficulties she faced. She endured the worst pain I have ever seen after her hip fracture and some traumas I don’t believe I could have survived. She kept bouncing back after serious setbacks, followed challenging medical advice, and fought through seven weeks of physical therapy that hurt every session. Perhaps most difficult of all, she came to terms with having to be dependent on others in ways that caused great discomfort.
She was indeed a “tough cookie”. She had great resolve and resilience, was not prone to crumbling, and she had a soft and loving filling. ❤️
She’d had a couple of rough days earlier in the week and we tried to prepare ourselves for the worst. She stopped eating and drinking water. Then late Wednesday evening, she surprised us again. She suddenly woke, spoke to us, smiled, asked for water and drank a big glass, asked about family and friends, and then peacefully drifted back to sleep.
The following day, Thursday, Mom was awake and alert longer than she’d been for weeks. We’d started taking shifts so someone would be there for more hours of the day. David went out early and sat and talked with her.
On my way out after lunch, I stopped by the Corvallis library to look for some new cd’s. Soon after Mom moved to Harmony, Joanie started playing instrumental hymns in the background and the music comforted and calmed Mom. We’d almost worn out Harmony’s cd’s when I discovered that our library had a wide collection of hymn cd’s. So we listened to new music all afternoon, from different artists and in a wide range of styles (from opera to bluegrass to Gregorian chant).
Later in the afternoon we played a cd of old-time hymns by the “Heehaw Gospel Quartet Band”. The jokes and skits on the old “Heehaw” t.v. show were uber-corny but the musicians were gifted. (I know this because I used to enjoy the show with my Dad who got a real kick out of it. :o) ) We didn’t expect Mom to particularly like that style of music, but she lit up! I think it may have reminded her of Dad and of some very happy times from the early years of their marriage. Besides playing the harmonica and singing, Dad also played the violin and the mandolin. The music had multiple mandolin solos. Mom knew all those old songs and the music made her so happy.
We held her hands and even though we didn’t know many of the words, we sang, hummed, and tapped our toes. Mom kept smiling and even silently (but joyfully) sang a few bars of “A Beautiful Life” with us. At one point Rae got up and danced. That really made Mom smile!
A couple hours later, she tired and slipped back into sleep. We kissed her, told her we loved her, and said we’d be back after dinner. Like she did so many times before, she sleepily asked us to confirm exactly when we’d be back.
During dinner, Joanie called us to say Mom was having new pain. It only took eight minutes to get back to Harmony but by that time, Mom was already gone. Joanie, who has a heart and soul of gold, was with Mom when she died.
I felt so sad that we weren’t there. But after the hospice nurse arrived, she told us that mothers often wait to die until their children leave the room. Once a mother, always a mother, caring for and trying to protect her children.
We are thankful for the extra time we had with her in the past five months. It had been many years since we could see each other every day. We got to know one another in new and wonderful ways. I learned that I didn’t know my mother as well as I thought I did. I think we all do the best we can at any given time, I sure wish I’d known Mom better earlier. So often we are not able to see beyond the “outside” self of others, or share who we really are inside. May we have what it takes to seize more of the chances we are given.
We are unspeakably thankful that every one of our immediate family members came from near and far to spend a long weekend with Mom. Being with and seeing us together was so important to her. It fulfilled a very deep hope and long-prayed prayer.
We are thankful for the all the people who took care of Mom in such kind, excellent, and conscientious ways, and especially the staff at Harmony.
We are and always will be profoundly grateful for the support and encouragement that you gave Mom. It was hard for her to believe that she deserved all of the attention and love, but she appreciated it. We saw firsthand how it strengthened her resolve and buoyed her spirit time and time again.
Please know that her lack of response to your cards, messages, and calls was only due to the fact that she was physically unable to do so. She asked us almost every day how friends and family were, but she never had the stamina and physical and vocal strength to directly contact or respond to people herself.
We will be having a service to celebrate Mom’s life on May 4 in Lakeview. It will be held at the First Presbyterian Church. We will post another update once the time is confirmed.
I will leave you with Mom’s wish for all of us. She told us many times in the past month that all she wanted was for us to “be happy and to know that she loved us.”
With love,
Marcia and Family
Valentine’s Day was a highlight. Mom felt particularly well that day and loved her Valentines. One from a friend thanking Mom for her friendship brought tears all around. She read and reread her cards and a delightful children’s book that Kiza sent (Guess How Much I Love You, by McBratney and Jeram). Joanie decorated with colorful linens, flowers, a big bunch of heart balloons, and delicious treats. Joanie and Lindsay made the day even more special by preparing a spectacular lunch: steak and chicken bbq’d on the patio grill, shrimp, fresh mushrooms, baked potatoes, sauteed and herbed vegetables, a lovely salad, garlic bread, and homemade panna cotta with fresh berries. (Yum!) Mom took such pleasure in celebrating holidays and birthdays, etc., before she became ill, and she appreciated and approved of Harmony’s efforts! :o)
Another positive this month was Mom’s appointment with her new primary care doc. We learned that Mom was overmedicated (some meds needed to be stopped months before and dosages of others were too high). She was also on drugs which are unwise choices for older seniors.
Fortunately Mom’s new doctor has extensive experience with older seniors. She said that it’s very common for older seniors to be overmedicated/mis-medicated. This is particularly true for those who’ve suffered fractures. She immediately changed meds and discontinued unnecessary drugs that had been negatively impacting Mom’s quality of life. Since that day, Mom’s less groggy, able to think and rest more normally, and best of all, much more like herself again.
Regretfully, the positive impacts of the drug changes haven’t extended to Mom’s physical strength. Even though she’s more comfortable and sleeps better now, and her appetite really improved after meds were discontinued, she hasn’t been able to sustain her weight, strength, or physical therapy. She’s become very frail.
The physical and emotional trauma, drug side effects, and longer-term heart problems have taken a steep toll on her health.
Our focus now is to simply be with and support Mom in all the ways that we can. We hope she understands the love and appreciation we have for her.
We’re grateful that she has little physical pain. We’re also thankful for the kind and conscientious care that Joanie, Lindsay, and others are giving her. Their support, concern, and advocacy for Mom, and the way they have supported and educated our family, is very deeply appreciated.
My brother, sister, and all of the grandchildren were just here for a long weekend. It had been many years since the whole family gathered. We’re so thankful that everyone in our immediate family could come at once to spend time together with Mom. It had long been Mom’s hope and prayer.
While Mom didn’t sleep well and it was difficult for her to communicate when everyone was here, she still managed to cracked us up multiple times with witty observations and well-placed facial expressions. :o)
Mom dearly loves and appreciates her family and her friends. We are and always have been at the center of her heart and life. She’s enjoyed and she’s been comforted by your cards, digital photos, messages, and prayers. Thanks so much for thinking of her and supporting her in these ways!
Marcia and Family
The short update on Mom: She moved several weeks ago and is receiving excellent care. She was exhausted in the beginning and slept a lot. She’s feeling better now and her health is starting once again to improve.
If you’d like more detail, please see below. :o)
Mom moved to Harmony Senior Living two and a half weeks ago. It’s located in Adair Village, a few miles from Corvallis. There are two adult foster homes situated next to one another. Mom is living in the house named Tamarack.
We’ve spent many hours there and we appreciate the kind and respectful care that Mom and the other four residents are shown. The Resident Care Manager, Joanie, is also very conscientious. She and the other five caregivers work hard to help each resident be as well as possible. They take time to listen and to get to know each person. That kind of consideration means a lot and especially during hard times.
The day before Mom moved, we took furniture and her personal things at our house out to Tamarack. We set up her bedroom and bath so it would be ready for her and somewhat familiar when she arrived. Mom seemed very pleased when she saw the house, her new room, the view out of her large bedroom windows, and again when she was thoughtfully served her very favorite food for lunch.
At Rehab, the rooms were all double occupancy. Even though Mom’s roommate was great, the lack of privacy and considerable extra noise was difficult. Now when Mom wants to sleep or rest, she can have as much peace and quiet as she wants. Joanie set up a CD player in Mom’s room and she keeps beautiful instrumental hymns playing softly in the background. The music is very soothing.
Mom slept much of the first week, and she’s still sleeping extra hours. It seems like she’s finally able to get the extra sleep that Dr. Gallagher recommended for healing after her stroke. Since then she’s been through even more change. It isn’t surprising she needs extra sleep. Harmony is the 10th place she’s stayed since November 1. It takes time and rest to process and adjust. We are grateful that the environment at Tamarack House is conducive to healing and we hope it continues to benefit her.
We now realize that staying in Rehab was more stressful for Mom than anyone realized. She needed to be there in order to have the medical care and rehab that she required. But it wasn’t easy. Even though we and the staff literally tried everything we could think of to make it easier for her to get more sleep and nutrition, she didn’t get enough sleep, she lost weight, and she was often dehydrated.
But Mom is now looking more rested than she has in a long time. She’s able to visit and be up and around more too. She’s started to read magazines again and show more interest in life. We set up some bird feeders right outside her window and lately we’ve enjoyed watching the birds together and talking.
She’s also started to eat and drink more liquid again. She likes Joanie’s cooking and it looks like that will result in needed weight gain. She’s still having some cognitive and memory problems but we hope those will also improve with time. Her health improved significantly between the first and second weeks at Harmony. Lindsay, the other owner, who’s worked in this field for 20 years, thinks that Mom may have postoperative delirium. This condition is not well-understood but it likely occurred as a side effect of anesthesia during her hip repair surgery. Lindsay’s assessment is actually encouraging because, even though it can take months after surgery for it to clear, postoperative delirium is temporary.
Mom started in-home physical therapy two weeks ago and occupational therapy last week. The Home Health staff is excellent and Mom already doubled the distance she can walk when the PT is here. She’ll also soon begin with a new physician. We’ve waited a long time for an appointment and we look forward to progress in this area as well. We think that Mom may feel better if some of the doctor’s orders from Rehab can be adjusted.
Thank you for your notes, cards, emails, texts, digital photos, calls, and voice mails. Even though Mom isn’t able to talk on the phone or respond to texts/emails yet, she reads, listens to, enjoys, and appreciates them very much! Please continue to use our home address as her permanent mailing address.
Lastly, if you’re interested in automatically receiving updates to this page when they are posted, please click on the white box at the bottom right of the page that says “Follow” and add your email address.
Thanks again for your concern and support!
Marcia
Mom is scheduled to be released from rehab this week. Several weeks ago, the staff recommended adult foster care as Mom’s best next step. While she’s been working very hard and has made great progress, her health is up and down and she still needs professional assistance. She isn’t steady enough on her feet to consistently stand and move independently.
She also has intermittent problems with short-term memory and time orientation. We’re thankful that her long-term memory has not been affected by what she’s been through. She always remembers family, friends, and her past. She reads all of her letters, cards, emails, and texts. She immediately recognizes all of the senders, including acquaintances from near and far. She’s interested in the news everyone shares and she explains to us who people are and how she knows them.
The very severe pain she had in her hip and leg is essentially gone. Our ability to heal is amazing. It’s only been six weeks since Mom could reliably sit up. Now she does formal physical, occupational, and speech therapy six days a week plus some on her own. Four days last week, she did laps in the halls in her wheelchair. The staff in the hallways really cheered her on. That sure brought a big smile to her face!
Mom reached an important milestone last Wednesday. Until that time, she required two-person transfers (two CNA’s to help as needed when she stood or walked). She can now help enough that it takes only one person to help her move safely.
The switch to one-person transfers means that she’s now eligible to go to adult foster care. Because care homes are small (in Oregon, the maximum number of residents allowed is five), there’s often only one staff member present in the daytime. Thus, most care homes cannot accommodate those who need two-person transfers.
After much research and visiting every adult care home in our area with availability, one stood out as the best fit for Mom. The owners/caregivers are deeply caring and experienced. She’s a registered nurse and he’s a former nursing home administrator. We’ve visited multiple times and the environment is warm, loving, and peaceful, but also stimulating. We think Mom will appreciate many things about the smaller and homier environment. She’ll also continue with rehab. Besides what she’ll receive from the care manager, therapists will also come to the house.
As always, thank you for your thoughts, prayers, cards, texts, emails, and other support. It means more to Mom and our family than we know how to express.
Marcia and Family
We’re happy to report that Mom’s pain levels have dropped a lot in the past week. Each day she grows stronger and more confident in her abilities.
She still isn’t crazy about being in rehab. Her fiercely independent spirit makes this level of dependence challenging. (Like most of the rest of us, she prefers to run her own show!) It isn’t easy to be a patient, or to remain patient while in a medical facility. Besides waiting for assistance, noise and care interruptions make it harder to get enough sleep. However, now that Mom’s pain is easing, it’s easier for her to see her progress and the benefits of rehab. That in turn makes adjustment and acceptance a little easier.
Mom’s independence is also fueling courage and fierce motivation to heal. We see this in her willingness to continue physical and occupational therapy. It’s hard and it still hurts. She does it anyhow because it helps. Her mobility is steadily improving and the therapists comment that her arms and hands are very strong. She can stand up now on her own power and with less pain. She can also walk some steps with her walker. During PT last week, we were thrilled to see her walk 16 feet. Yesterday she walked 45!
Otherwise, Mom and the staff are also working on her balance, orientation to time and place, and on relearning some daily living tasks. With the additional healing time from her stroke and the fracture, we’re noticing more improvement in those areas too.
Mom isn’t yet able to navigate the many stairs we have in our home in Corvallis so we’ll be taking Christmas to her. The Mennonite Home staff invites families to join loved ones for the day and we’re taking them up on their kind invitation.
More next week!
P.S. For those who don’t know, Mom had a stroke on 11/1. She was flown to Bend for surgery. Afterwards the neurologist there said her scan showed no stroke damage. Seventeen days later, while she was with us in Corvallis, she fell and broke her hip. She’s now in rehabilitation in Albany, Oregon.
Please accept our sincere thanks for the cards, messages, calls, prayers, and other support. Your encouragement is making a noticeable difference as she goes through this difficult recovery.
Time, rest, compassionate care, and physical therapy are all helping Mom. Even though pain is still a major issue, it’s much less severe than it was two weeks ago.
Despite wondering if rehab will go on forever, Mom is making progress in every way and the end is in sight. The staff is now anticipating that she will finish inpatient rehab in approximately four more weeks (six weeks’ total – which is the amount of time it normally takes for bones to heal).
The next step in her recovery will be a supported living arrangement and outpatient therapy. We are in the process of researching options in the Corvallis area.
A broken hip is a particularly painful and immobilizing injury, and Mom’s break was unusually severe. Keeping Mom’s pain under control without causing unwelcome side effects remains tricky. The rehab staff keeps working with her on it. When pain levels are manageable, it’s of course easier for her to sleep, think, move, participate in therapy, and have a positive outlook.
Mom’s favorite aspects of Mennonite Home Rehab are staff members (especially some of the aides who are particularly kind) and the delicious food. She didn’t expect such well-prepared food in an institutional setting. Small comforts and gestures sometimes mean a great deal.
Mom’s least favorite thing is the need to wait for assistance. Rehab is an exceptional opportunity for developing patience. :o)
The staff at Mennonite Home Rehab are responsive, competent, and very caring. It is not an easy job and it’s obvious that they put great effort into helping residents heal. We are grateful for them.
I have learned through this experience that it is essential for people over age 50, especially women, to do everything possible to avoid a fall and broken hip. The following links contain excellent info and tips on how to avoid this devastating and permanently life-changing injury:
Thanks again for your support!
Marcia and Family
Grandma got settled in at the Rehabilitation Center at Mennonite Home (part of Mennonite Village in Albany) today. Tomorrow we’re cooking a simplified Thanksgiving meal in Corvallis, and then we’ll take some over to her (although they’re going to have a big meal with all of the fixings there, so she may already be full up by the time we get there).
-Rachel
Virginia Updates 